Sweetheart, Bitter Heart
by LittleVolodya
Summary: Antonio summons a Cupid to help him win over Lovino's heart and ends up with something else entirely. One-sided Spamano.
1. Chapter 1

Notes: This will not be a Spamano fic.

* * *

 **One**

"No."

The door slams in his face. Again.

 **Two**

"Antonio..." Francis asks with some concern, arms full of groceries, as he eyes the mopey one-third of their trio slumped over the kitchen table like a sad-eyed, droopy-eared kicked puppy in the rain. "Did Lovino reject you again?"

The response comes immediately in the form of a sad and muffled "Yes."

Francis sighs an extremely long-suffering sigh. He sets the bags down on the counter. He can put them away later, for now he'll tend to his (frequently) heartbroken friend. He walks the few steps it takes in their woefully small kitchen to the table - also small, but beautiful - which was a housewarming gift from Alfred (and by extension - Arthur since they decided living together would be more cost-effective.) when he was into flipping furniture. He still is, but to a lesser extent after Arthur put his foot down on Alfred binge-watching 'Flea Market Flip' because the house became overrun with all manner of end tables, chairs, and dressers that Alfred just knew he could make amazing and then sell for a decent chunk of cash (excluding gifts for friends and family). So ended the era of free furniture. Francis misses it.

"So" He begins, seating himself elegantly in the seat across from Antonio's. He wipes a few imaginary crumbs off of the table. "would you like to talk about it?"

Antonio lifts his head, the movement looks as though it actually pains him, and shrugs forlornly.

Seeing his red-rimmed eyes and messy hair, Francis thinks that the puppy in the rain comparison wasn't so far off. It's so unlike his usual self that it's disconcerting. He resists the urge to sigh again and just barely resists reaching out to pet Toni's hair. Poor Antonio. Poor Lovino too, he thinks, because he knows how insistent Antonio can be and while he would never go _too_ far with it, he often times gets too invested in thinking of what could be, all the happy possibilities, instead of starting with whether or not the person even reciprocates his feelings. Which Lovino very obviously doesn't. Francis knows for a fact that Lovino has a little crush on the younger brother of the third member of their trio. He and Gilbert never mention it to Toni because he doesn't need to know and they've been hoping that he'll just let this whole thing go. It doesn't seem likely to happen anytime soon. In fact, it's lasting a lot longer than his usual crushes ever do. There have been so many because when Toni sees something shiny and new he can't help but want it. He also can't help getting easily distracted by other shiny things. He waits for Toni to talk.

"Francis... I don't know what to do! I just want Lovi to like me, because I like him. I want to cook for him, did you know he loves tomatoes too?, and listen to him talk about his days and laugh. He has such a nice laugh! It's so cute..." Antonio trails off, smiling, before he remembers and looks sad again, running his hand through his hair. "What am I doing wrong?" He looks up again, into Francis' eyes this time. He looks so serious and vulnerable, Francis feels a pang in his chest, he hates seeing his friends' hurt in any way.

"Oh Toni." Francis leans forward, covering Antonio's hand with his own. "You know the answer already. No matter how much you may love someone, you can't control how they feel and when they return your feelings it's a lovely thing, but that doesn't always happen. Sometimes... Sometimes they just don't." And god, Francis knows how that feels. He pats Toni's hand comfortingly.

 **Three**

"I still don't get why you came to me for help." Arthur says, distaste coloring his voice. He stares at Antonio, unblinking, waiting for an answer. It's actually kind of creepy.

"Well, you're into the whole magic thing aren't you?" Antonio asks hopefully. "Francis mentioned it once, I think. I was hoping you might have something that could help me win Lovino's heart!"

Arthur gives Antonio a blank look before turning away dismissively. "If you're looking for a love potion, I don't do those."

"No! I don't want a love potion! That wouldn't be...That's not what I want."

Arthur looks back at Antonio, one bushy eyebrow raised skeptically. Antonio sort of wants to touch one to see what it's like. "If it's not a love potion you're after, then what _do_ you want?"

Antonio laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. "Do you think you could maybe... summon a cupid?" Seeing Arthur looking annoyed again, he quickly adds. "Not! Not for the arrow. Just for advice, I swear!"

"I suppose I could do that. It won't be a favor though, you understand. You'll owe me one, alright?"

Antonio looks like he's about to complain so Arthur adds "If you're good at something, never do it for free."

Antonio laughs. "Isn't that from Dark Knight?"

"I don't know what you mean."

 **Four**

Antonio wonders if the cloak is entirely necessary, but decides not to say anything about it since Arthur is doing him a favor.

Arthur begins chanting.

The floor glows brightly in the damp-dark of the basement.

"...Show yourself!" Arthur demands forcefully, hand held out in front of him as if he was using some kind of mutant power to pull the creature out of the floor by sheer force of mind. Antonio's eyes widen, what if Arthur is secretly part of the X-men?

 _'And if he is would he mind introducing me to a few of them?'_

The light becomes blinding for a few seconds before fading slowly to reveal a head of ashen blonde hair and a pair of violet eyes.

"You called?"

"Yes!" Antonio blurts excitedly, he didn't think it would actually work, the floor was glowing and everything, but still that could have been faked somehow. He doesn't see how Arthur could fake this. "Oh wow! this is amazing!"

"Not again..." Arthur mutters to himself. Then he calls, slightly louder, to Antonio who had started dragging the 'cupid' out of the room. "That's not!... He's not a...oh forget it."

He sighs. "I hope Ivan behaves himself this time."

* * *

Notes: Title from 1234 by Feist. There will be more, but I wanted to upload at least the first part for Valentine's Day. If all goes as planned, it should end up being Spain/Russia. Review, if you'd like.


	2. Chapter 2

**One**

Francis and Gilbert are bickering over whether to watch Project Runway ("I haven't seen this one yet!") or Kill Bill ("It's a classic!") when Antonio walks in the front door talking a mile a minute, dragging a tall (very tall) stranger behind him, who seems perfectly content to just listen to Toni blabber on about seemingly nothing in particular.

Gilbert waits until they're out of earshot before giving Francis a smirk. "Is that Toni's shiny new thing? He kind of looks like a big weirdo."

His laugh (cackle would be more accurate) is cut short when a snowball appears out of thin air and lands with a wet smack on top of his head. "What the hell?!"

Francis blinks slowly. "What the hell, indeed."

"I'm being serious, Francis. What the hell just happened?"

"I know, so was I." Francis stares off in the direction where Antonio and his mysterious stranger went. "Well, whatever it is, I'm sure Arthur is involved somehow."

* * *

 **Two**

"It's not my fault." Arthur says flatly when Francis and Gilbert show up in the basement (Alfred must have let them in even though he specifically told the little brat not to let anyone in). "Ivan just shows up whenever I try to summon something. There's really no need to worry, it's not as if the fellow is the devil or anything." Arthur waves them away, hoping they take the excuse and leave him alone.

It's partly true, Ivan isn't a devil or a demon or anything of the sort, but whatever he is (and Arthur loathes the fact that he has absolutely no idea), he has a certain mindset that doesn't always adhere to a human's moral code (because -for starters- he's not one). He's more like a cat. A big, wild cat. Silent, beautiful and does whatever he feels like doing at any moment. He narrows his eyes, remembering the first time he'd accidentally summoned Ivan and the second. He shakes his head, as if the movement itself could erase the memories like an etch-a-sketch. They weren't bad exactly, just a little embarrassing. He turns his mind to perusing the bookshelves.

"He seems pretty evil to me." Gilbert says confidently. "He dropped a snowball on me."

Arthur almost laughs because he knows Ivan is capable of worse and Gilbert's lucky that Ivan must have been in a good mood. "That is not evil. And you probably deserved it for being an asshole." He eyes the bestiary before deeming it useless (he's been through it more than a few times) and moving on.

"You don't even know what I did!" Gilbert protests. "Not that I did anything and even if I did I-"

Francis covers Gilbert's mouth with his hand to get him to shut up. "So, he's harmless then?"

Arthur hums, seeing a chance to get these two to leave. He keeps his back turned towards them. "I wouldn't say _harmless,_ but it should be fine."

Francis asks, shrilly " _Should_ be?!" at the same time Gilbert, shoving Francis' hand away, shouts "Ha! I told you he was evil!"

Arthur rolls his eyes. "Yes, Francis, should be. Now" He plucks out a small green book he doesn't remember putting there, shoving it back in its place a second later after finding it to be a cookbook. That won't do. "You two should be on your way. As I said, it will be fine."

"No." Gilbert corrects. "You said should be. Come on, what's he usually like? We need to know what to expect. If you don't tell us and something happens to Antonio, then _you're_ the one who's an asshole."

Arthur turns around at that, green eyes flashing. "Oh? If you two are so worried about your friend why don't you go and see how he's doing instead of standing there preventing me from actually finding a solution to this problem?" He takes a deep breath. "I need time _alone_ to figure things out."

Arthur waits for them to leave and then lets his shoulders slump in relief.

 _'Thank God that's over.'_

He returns to his current task of trying to alleviate his own boredom. He feels the tiniest twinge of guilt for probably causing trouble for Ivan, but honestly he deserves it for last time. All he can do is hope Gilbert and Francis don't go overboard. Then he realises that of course they will because that's how they are. Hell, their whole group is overly dramatic and that's probably why they get on so well. Ivan can handle himself, of course he can, being whatever he is. But, Arthur still worries, because he considers Ivan and those guys (even Francis - though to a lesser extent) his friends, despite everything and doesn't really want anyone to get hurt.

"It will be fine." He reassures himself.

* * *

 **Three**

Gilbert and Francis warily enter the house, expecting a bloody battlefield, with Antonio brandishing an axe and Ivan with his weapon of choice (Gilbert imagines a giant sword and Francis isn't sure if he even needs a weapon), fighting to the death.

What they get instead is Antonio singing along to the pop songs coming from the living room speakers and the only thing he is 'brandishing' are chicken-patterned oven mitts. As for Ivan, there's not a single sword in sight, instead he's innocently ('Or is it?' Gilbert wonders suspiciously.) stirring something in a mixing bowl.

Gilbert and Francis freeze, unsure of what to do now that Antonio doesn't appear to be in need of rescuing.

"Do you guys wanna try some cookies?" Antonio asks, unaware of his' friends' confused stares. "They're peanut butter! And they were only five ingredients! Isn't that great?"

"We're making them for Lovino!" Antonio continues when his friends don't respond. He looks up to see if they heard him, Ivan looking up at the same time - both smiling.

Francis and Gilbert give each other a look, nod once and then slowly back out of the kitchen, then the living room, until they're at the front door. Then they turn to face it, still silent, and leave the house.

Antonio shrugs, used to his friends being weird, and returns to baking.

* * *

Notes: The cookie thing is a reference to one of my other fics.


End file.
